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Tuesday, August 21, 2012


This past July I hit the big 3-Oh.   I tried my best to avoid it a first.  I had my mind set that I was going to have another 29th birthday, that way I never had to come to terms with being 30.  However the night before the big day (while out with my best mate celebrating the last night of my 20's) I had an "ah, ha!" moment.  There I stood at a local bar and realized how incredible blessed I am.  Sure, I had a lot of magical moments in my 20's -- I got married, started my career, we bought our first house, and I gained the best group of friends I could ask for.  So that night, I decided I could do one of two things... I could dwell on turning 30 OR I could take everything fabulous that happened in my 20's with me to my 30's.

And that's exactly what I did.

- I brought my faith with me into my 30's because with God ALL things are possible.

- I brought R with me into my 30's (although he got here before I did) because life without him is not complete.

- I brought my supportive and incredible family with me into my 30's because after all, they own my heart.

- I brought my amazingly rewarding career with me into my 30's because the children I work with teach me just as much as I teach them, and we're not done learning.

and last but not least...

- I brought my fabulous group of best friends with me into my 30's because they make me whole.

After realizing all that matters most in my life will go with me into my 30's I didn't sweat it.  And once I got here.... I discovered it's not so bad.  Make no mistake though, I learned a lot about myself in my 20's.  Some lessons I will never forget.

For example, I learned...'s not where I am, but WHO I'm with that matters most.
...sometimes forgiving someone does not mean all is forgotten, it means you are strong enough to move on.
...there is a fine line between deciding to walk away and trying again.
...that people will hurt me, but it's how I handle that hurt that is important.
...hero's don't wear capes; they wear dog tags. matter what, never take family for granted. truly appreciate where I came from (Stay classy, Indiana).
...forgiving myself is just as important as others forgiving me.
...NO MATTER WHAT, God is in control - not me.

So here's to my 30's. May they be ready for all the fabulousness I have to offer, because ready or not...I'm here!!!!

Small Successes

Yesterday was weigh in day.  I was convinced that when I got to my WW meeting and stepped on the scale I would see the same number I had been seeing for WEEKS!  I even mildly tried to sabotage myself by running before my weight in.  I ALWAYS weigh more just after working out.  I called my husband and told him what I was doing.  He tried to discourage me and talk me out of it, but being the fabulous wife I am, I didn't listen.  :)  So, just a short two mile run later, I went home, changed clothes, and left for WW.

When I got there I stepped on the scale.  My thought was that I would be okay with a gain, because I know in the long run, I'm doing good by running.  What I saw amazed me!  I was down 1.2 pounds!  AMAZE-BALLS!  Not only did that drop me into the next tens group, but it's also the biggest loss I have had since MAY! I cannot tell you how excited I was!  DOUBLE AMAZE-BALLS!!  This loss puts me at 10 pounds total!

My motivation is back!

Today I brought clothes to run in after school.  This is Back To School night so I won't get home until 7ish, but I can leave school at 4 and the town where my school is has awesome sidewalks and is great for running! So, I have two options...I can either run right after school before Back To School night, or I'll hit the gym on my way home.  Either way... I WILL run!!!

More to come.....

Monday, August 20, 2012

It's Time To Get Real

Are you ready? Because it's about to get real......

 Back in November I stepped on the scale in my bathroom and saw a number I had never seen. I was so disgusted with myself. I was half a pound away from a completely new ten's digit. I wanted to cry. I went to school that morning, got on my computer and quickly research local Weight Watchers meeting locations. I know myself well enough to know if I didn't go that night, I wasn't going to go at all. So that's what I did. I found a meeting location (not close to my house because Heaven forbid I see someone I knew - they would know I was fat!) and secretly drove myself.

 For the first 3 weeks no one knew what I was doing on Monday nights. Each week I would tell R that I was going to run errands with my Mom. I was so embarrassed that I had allowed myself to get so big. Well, let me tell you... I had FABULOUS motivation and determination -- for the first three weeks. In that time I lost the first 9.5 pounds I needed to get back to the 0 of the current ten's group I was in. Then it stopped. I would lose a pound here, gain an pound (or two) there, lose .8.... but nothing significant enough for me to see any more change. And that's where I've been ever since.

 I'm stuck.

 A new school year has started and I have not reached my goal. I didn't necessarily need to be at my ultimate goal by the start of school, but I wanted to have lost enough weight for others to see the progress.... nope. Here I sit still the same. Again, I am so disgusted with myself. I need renewed motivation and determination to get these last 7 pounds off. I need to get back into the groove of running and eating well.

 I need motivation.

 I did some research this morning on clean eating and I think we're going to try it (yes, we... R gets to do it as well, by default). I'm nervous, but I need to do this for me. I don't feel good about myself and in turn it's starting to affect the way I carry myself around others. I am self conscious, even around R, my own husband! I need things to change. I want to feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. I follow the blog of a lady who is on her own weight loss journey (you can follow her here).  She is a hilarious person who I would LOVE to meet in person someday.  She has become my motivation.

 Like I said, it's getting real. Sorry if any of this was TMI, but hey, you made the choice to read it. This is my little world and I'm going to document this journey. Go with me, or not, that's up to you. 

More to come......