Letters

Last Thursday I went to the mailbox, as I do everyday, hoping there would be something inside written in Ross's handwriting. This time... there was! I received three letters from Ross... on our anniversary nonetheless!

From the letters, he seems to be doing well. He referenced several times that church is the most enjoyable time for him right now. As he said, "it's a place where I do not have to march or seen an instructor. The only requirements is that you show a smile before entering the building." I am so glad he has that outlet right now. What a belessing!

Ross also said he is the laundry chief for his dorm. He says it is busy but a quiet place where he can study; stressful, yet rexaling all at the same time. I'm hoping he will have developed a love for doing laundry by the time he gets home! I asked in a letter if he has solved the lifelong mystery of "how DO you fold a fitted sheet?"

Today marks the beginning of week three. This week, Ross will be learning combat medical skills. He will learn skills to potentially save the life of a fellow Airman should the need ever arises. In a letter he said he is excited for this week.

As for me, I am doing pretty well. I have five days of school left. My last day of school marks the halfway point. Bring it on! June 30 cannot get here fast enough!!!!!

36 days!

43 days!

Two weeks down... Six and a half to go!!!!

This Thursday is our anniversary. Every year, Ross and I go to Biaggi's for our anniversary dinner. This year, I'm going with my friend, Ashly. I figured it would look a little silly for me to sit and have my anniversary dinner by myself... so she and I are getting all dolled up and going to dinner! Can't wait!

More to come...

It's The Weekend

While I usually love the weekends and the ability to sleep in and get stuff done around the house, I am finding myself dreading them right now. Weekends have gone from my relaxation time, to my most stressful time. During the weekend, I find myself constantly thinking about Ross being gone. These are the days when I do not have work to distract my thoughts. I simply spend the days at home, missing Ross.

My brother-in-law, Reed, has been such a blessing during this. He has made a conscience effort to hang out with me everyday. I do not know what I would do without him. I was asked today if I am afraid living by myself. I quickly replied that I do not have to live by myself right now. Thank goodness!

I know Reed will not always live with us, but right now, I am sure thankful that he does. I would be FAR more lonely than I am if it weren't for Reed! Thank you God for blessing me abundantly and for granting Reed the patience and willingness to live with us.

Thankfully, my weekends could be far worse!!

One Week Down!

Ross left one week ago today. This week has been full of ups and downs. My feelings come and go... the desire to cry comes and goes... the desire to hang out with friends comes and goes. This has been hard, there is no doubt about it. But I have to keep pressing on. Just seven more Mondays then I get to see Ross! I cannot wait!

Last night, Reed, Ryan, and I went to the Komets game. It was game two of the Turner Cup Finals. I was able to get us seats in row 6 and was really excited about... Until we got there and discovered they were at the wrong end. We were at the end where the Komets shoot once, as opposed to the end where the Komets shoot twice. Oh well. We had good seats and a great view of our end of the ice.

As we sat there watching the game, and cheering for the Komets (who won and are up 2-0 in the series), I found myself not thinking so much about the fact that Ross is gone. Sure, I thought about him a lot, but it did not consume me. There were a few time when the thought of Ross would pop into my mind and I would think to myself, "Huh... I'm having fun." Part of me was thrilled to be out having a good time, but part of me felt guilty for having fun without Ross. I know he wants me to go to hockey games and do things I enjoy, but I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for having fun.

I think as time goes on, I will begin feeling less and less guilty for going out and having fun. Like I said, I know Ross wants me to do things I enjoy. I can only imagine the disappointment he would have if, when he got home, he discovered I did not allow myself to have fun. I need to keep that in mind and allow myself to go be with friends and to do fun things.

50 days...

Perfect Timing...

3 days down....

Over the course of the last three days, I have had the thought of one particular woman I briefly talked to at the airport go through my head over and over and over again. I know nothing about this lady. I don't know where she is from or where she was going. All I know is that she touched my life.

Just after having said "see you later" to Ross, I went and sat in a chair waiting for, and dreading the moment when his plane would take off. At that very moment I felt lost and all alone. The only thing I could do was look out the window and think about how my entire world sat on that aircraft.

Just at that moment the woman sitting across from me looked up, smiled the most sincere smile, and said, "From one of the 97% of Americans who are not in the military, thank you." This was the most touching thing I could have heard at that moment. Like I said, I know nothing about this woman and will, more than likely, never see her again, but the support she gave me those first few moments after Ross boarded the plane is something I will never forget.

I am continually amazed at the way God puts people in my life at just the right time, for just the right reason. There I sat, alone and scared, and God sent this woman just to let me know things will be okay. I am not alone.

I can do this.

Blessed

I work with some pretty incredible people! I got to school today, not sure of what the day would bring. As I entered the gym and approached my office door I found what is pictured above. Two of my amazing friends did this for me! Of course, that brought tears. Not tears of sadness as much as tears of overwhelming thankfulness for these people. Just at that moment, one of my very good friends came into the gym to see how I was doing today. With tears in my eye all I could do was look at her and say, "I wasn't supposed to cry today..." These two friends of mine made the giant Hershey's kiss and also put a bag of Kisses on my door handle with one Kiss for each day he will be gone (they put 60 Kisses in the bag knowing I would need more than one piece of chocolate today). Let the countdown begin! I ate four Hershey Kisses this morning. One a day, and I'll get to see Ross.

Then....




During my second grade class, one of my friends came in and asked me to come to the office when my class left. I agreed, not thinking anything of it. When I got to the office, I saw ten of my co-workers along with my principal and these gorgeous flowers. I instantly sat down and had tears in my eyes. Again, they were not tears of sadness as much as tears of overwhelming thankfulness for these people. I got up and hugged each of them, thanking them for the flowers, as well as their support.

I don't know what I would do without these people. I never imagined I would be absolutely showered with supportive cards, hugs, and words as I entered this journey.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to each of you who have scooped me up. You will never know how much it is appreciated. I just wish I could share these awesome gestures with Ross... 56 days.

Deployment Day

I am not an overly private person, however, posting a blog from my personal journal is not something I have ever done... until tonight. Today was, hands down, the hardest day I have had to face. When I got home tonight I sat down and started writing in my journal. Below you will find the entry:

"Deployment day. I know with each passing day this will get easier, but right now it does not feel that way. I want to cry. I want to break down and have a good, hard cry. Sure, there have been tears, but I want that good, hard cry to get it all out. I feel like I can't though. Ross can't cry where he is, so I feel like I shouldn't here. Ross has to be strong so I feel like I should be too.

56 days.

I can do this. I have an awesome family and incredible friends. I can do this.

I have an outlet. Running and writing will be my outlet. San Antonio is 1,304 miles away. I will run to Ross (with my conversion). I will run 163 miles before I see Ross in 56 days. I will write, to Ross and in my journal. I will write my thoughts and my feelings. I will take my journal with me everywhere I go so I can write as it comes.

I will be thankful. Thankful for Reed who is living with me. Thankful that I am not alone. I will be thankful for my Mom, Dad, and Brother who would drop everything to be with me and support me. I will be thankful for Bill and Marti who will also be part of my support team. I will be thankful for friends who will keep me busy. I AM thankful for a faithful and loving God who will NEVER give me more than I can handle. I am thankful for Fenway who, although he has eaten cords, drywall, baseboards, toilet paper, and (recently) carpet, will be my buddy and companion. Mostly, I am thankful for a husband who is so willing to serve when others are not. I am thankful for his courage and dedication to our country and his willingness to be and American Airman.

But, today, I miss him. 56 days."

So, there it is. That's exactly how I feel.

I'm off to bed soon. Tomorrow brings a day at school with what I'm sure will be a lot of questions to answer. I also plan to start my "Run to Texas". More to come...

Choices

The day I have been excited for/dreading is a mere hours away. Less than twenty-four hours from now I will have given (for now) that final hug and kiss to Ross and he will be on a plane headed towards San Antonio. I am excited for him and all the things he will get to do and experience while he is gone. However, I dread this day because it will be the first time Ross and I will be apart for more than just a couple days.

I will, undoubtedly, have good days and not-so-good days, but this lifestyle was a choice we made. We knew last year when Ross signed the papers that this was not going to be an easy road to travel. We knew there would be times, either a few days or several months, when Ross would be away from home and I would be on my own. The first few days will certainly be the hardest. Ross and I sat together and watched a series of eight short videos about Basic Training and what they will do each week. I think mentally, once Ross gets through the initial two weeks, my mind will be at ease. From the videos, there seems to be a lot of yelling during those first few weeks.

I truly believe every experience will make a person stronger! More to come.....

Pictures

Just a couple picture from today!!!