Finally....

I am finally updating this blog... I know, I know. It has been a long time. In my defense, my computer has a virus so I am kind of out of commission. Anyway... two weeks ago, I attemped to update via my phone, but it would not allow me to post my writing. So, here it is:

"Here I sit with two weeks until I get to see Ross! Some days have gone quickly, like people said they would, while others have slowly crept by as if mocking me for counting down the days. Nonetheless... 14 days to go.

This has truly been a roller coaster experience for me. There are days when I accept Ross being gone and simply remind myself of how many days remain until I get to see him. Yet there are other days where almost anything could make me cry and I feel all alone. Thankfully the lonely days are getting farther and farther apart.

As for letters... lets just say Thursday is my favorite day of the week right now. Ross is only able to mail letters on his way to church which puts them in my mailbox on Thursdays. Thus far I have a stack on 16 of the most incredible letters I have ever read.

I have also been fortunate enough to receive three (yes, THREE) phone calls from Ross. The first being nine minutes in length, the second being five minutes, and the most recent being 27 minutes in length!! I cannot describe the incredible joy I feel when I have answered the phone and Ross has been on the other end. Most importantly, I cannot express the overwhelming feeling of relief to hear that he is doing so well.

This week marks Ross's sixth week of training (or as I have learned they are referred to as WOT). He is currently at BEAST, a week long mock deployment. From what I have heard, when looking back on the experience at Lackland Air Force Base, most Airmen will tell you BEAST was their favorite part of training. I am excited to see what Ross thinks. He has been voted to be the Tactical Deployment Leader for Flight 446 which means during his mock deployment... he is in charge. What a huge honor yet responsibility at the same time! I am so proud of him!!!

His 7 WOT holds classes on Air Force history and rank responsibilities. Finally week 8 will be spent practicing for graduation and graduating. If all goes well Trainees are issued 3 day long passes! I am looking forward to seeing the city of San Antonio, but mostly, I am looking forward to reaching zero on my countdown!"



That was two weeks ago. Today... the countdown is down to 2! I leave tomorrow morning for San Antonio! I am more than ready to see Ross!

I have gotten to talk with him one more time since I wrote the above entry. He called Saturday, June 19th and was able to talk for 30 minutes! During that time, I learned that his flight won BEAST excellence, meaning they did the best during their mock deployment!! GO ROSS!!!!

Also, I got a phone call the evening of Friday, June 25th from a United States Air Force Major and his wife, Melissa. At first I was nervous, thinking they were calling to let me know Ross had been punished or injured and would not graduate. This was not the case... they called to let me know they "had the privilege of having lunch with [my] husband" that afternoon. They both spoke of his character, work ethic, and said he mentioned me numerous times. It was great to hear! I asked why he was able to go to their home and have lunch with them. Melissa told me her husband was taking a class where one of the requirements is that he attend a BMT graduation. He then tours a dorm and a trainee is selected to have lunch with him. I replied, "Oh... neat!!" to which Melissa responded, "Ashley, I'm not sure you understand." At this point I was thinking, "okay... what's not to get, Ross had lunch with the Major." Melissa then said, "Your husband was hand selected to come to our home and have lunch with us. I'm not sure what he is doing, but he is doing it right, and he is doing it well. Higher up selected him to have lunch with us." Okay, now I got it! I expressed my thanks to she and her husband for calling.

My heart is so full of pride and respect for what Ross has accomplished! Now... I'm off to Texas in the morning to FINALLY give him the hug he so greatly deserves!!

More to come....

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, Ross! I love and miss you!! See you in 28 days!!!

Letters

Last Thursday I went to the mailbox, as I do everyday, hoping there would be something inside written in Ross's handwriting. This time... there was! I received three letters from Ross... on our anniversary nonetheless!

From the letters, he seems to be doing well. He referenced several times that church is the most enjoyable time for him right now. As he said, "it's a place where I do not have to march or seen an instructor. The only requirements is that you show a smile before entering the building." I am so glad he has that outlet right now. What a belessing!

Ross also said he is the laundry chief for his dorm. He says it is busy but a quiet place where he can study; stressful, yet rexaling all at the same time. I'm hoping he will have developed a love for doing laundry by the time he gets home! I asked in a letter if he has solved the lifelong mystery of "how DO you fold a fitted sheet?"

Today marks the beginning of week three. This week, Ross will be learning combat medical skills. He will learn skills to potentially save the life of a fellow Airman should the need ever arises. In a letter he said he is excited for this week.

As for me, I am doing pretty well. I have five days of school left. My last day of school marks the halfway point. Bring it on! June 30 cannot get here fast enough!!!!!

36 days!

43 days!

Two weeks down... Six and a half to go!!!!

This Thursday is our anniversary. Every year, Ross and I go to Biaggi's for our anniversary dinner. This year, I'm going with my friend, Ashly. I figured it would look a little silly for me to sit and have my anniversary dinner by myself... so she and I are getting all dolled up and going to dinner! Can't wait!

More to come...

It's The Weekend

While I usually love the weekends and the ability to sleep in and get stuff done around the house, I am finding myself dreading them right now. Weekends have gone from my relaxation time, to my most stressful time. During the weekend, I find myself constantly thinking about Ross being gone. These are the days when I do not have work to distract my thoughts. I simply spend the days at home, missing Ross.

My brother-in-law, Reed, has been such a blessing during this. He has made a conscience effort to hang out with me everyday. I do not know what I would do without him. I was asked today if I am afraid living by myself. I quickly replied that I do not have to live by myself right now. Thank goodness!

I know Reed will not always live with us, but right now, I am sure thankful that he does. I would be FAR more lonely than I am if it weren't for Reed! Thank you God for blessing me abundantly and for granting Reed the patience and willingness to live with us.

Thankfully, my weekends could be far worse!!

One Week Down!

Ross left one week ago today. This week has been full of ups and downs. My feelings come and go... the desire to cry comes and goes... the desire to hang out with friends comes and goes. This has been hard, there is no doubt about it. But I have to keep pressing on. Just seven more Mondays then I get to see Ross! I cannot wait!

Last night, Reed, Ryan, and I went to the Komets game. It was game two of the Turner Cup Finals. I was able to get us seats in row 6 and was really excited about... Until we got there and discovered they were at the wrong end. We were at the end where the Komets shoot once, as opposed to the end where the Komets shoot twice. Oh well. We had good seats and a great view of our end of the ice.

As we sat there watching the game, and cheering for the Komets (who won and are up 2-0 in the series), I found myself not thinking so much about the fact that Ross is gone. Sure, I thought about him a lot, but it did not consume me. There were a few time when the thought of Ross would pop into my mind and I would think to myself, "Huh... I'm having fun." Part of me was thrilled to be out having a good time, but part of me felt guilty for having fun without Ross. I know he wants me to go to hockey games and do things I enjoy, but I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for having fun.

I think as time goes on, I will begin feeling less and less guilty for going out and having fun. Like I said, I know Ross wants me to do things I enjoy. I can only imagine the disappointment he would have if, when he got home, he discovered I did not allow myself to have fun. I need to keep that in mind and allow myself to go be with friends and to do fun things.

50 days...

Perfect Timing...

3 days down....

Over the course of the last three days, I have had the thought of one particular woman I briefly talked to at the airport go through my head over and over and over again. I know nothing about this lady. I don't know where she is from or where she was going. All I know is that she touched my life.

Just after having said "see you later" to Ross, I went and sat in a chair waiting for, and dreading the moment when his plane would take off. At that very moment I felt lost and all alone. The only thing I could do was look out the window and think about how my entire world sat on that aircraft.

Just at that moment the woman sitting across from me looked up, smiled the most sincere smile, and said, "From one of the 97% of Americans who are not in the military, thank you." This was the most touching thing I could have heard at that moment. Like I said, I know nothing about this woman and will, more than likely, never see her again, but the support she gave me those first few moments after Ross boarded the plane is something I will never forget.

I am continually amazed at the way God puts people in my life at just the right time, for just the right reason. There I sat, alone and scared, and God sent this woman just to let me know things will be okay. I am not alone.

I can do this.